Now that we're here, where do we go?
And thus, we arrive at the one hundredth article.
If I'm honest, it snuck up on me a bit quicker than I thought it would. I remember thinking somewhere around #80 that #100 was still miles away, and now suddenly here we are. Perhaps more a testament to how time doth flit.
When I realised a few days ago that I was about to hit this milestone, I thought I should probably go back and have a look at where my head was at a year ago, what's happened since, and what I want to do next.
As I read through my post from a year ago, I realised that I had made quite a bit of noise at the time about getting to article 100 and then deciding what I wanted to do from there. As #100 caught me off guard, I hadn't really committed much time to reflecting and re-evaluating. The last few days then have seen some proper reflection (and debate).
On the face of it, there hasn't really been much change since a year ago. I followed through with shelving my newsletter, and I have no regrets about that. I also almost entirely ignore LinkedIn now, unless someone sends me a message, and I'm all the better for it. For the last year I've largely been focused on laying down 1000 words or more on this blog each week. I have done a few format tweaks along the way, like removing the need for superfluous feature images, that helps minimise the effort each week.
Before getting to the deeper reflection part though, it's really worth reminding myself why I started the blog in the first place, along with all the newsletter and LinkedIn business. And that was, really, because of business. Getting into the ID consulting space, I felt (and was told) that I had to do these things to get my name out there and grow a business. My goal, rightly or wrongly, was to create some sufficient level of exposure that for the things that I'm very good at, people would know who to come to. As egotistical as this sounds (and is), I wanted a reputation that would help perpetuate my consulting business.
As damning as it sounds, all the effort that I've invested into those things; the blog, the newsletter, the LinkedIn hustle, has not paid off whatsoever. More than that, I've realised it's not the kind of person I am. And maybe because of the kind of person I am is precisely why not.
Stepping away from LinkedIn, and to a lesser extent the newsletter, almost a year ago took so much weight off me. Not trying to do the things that everyone tells me I should do to grow a business but aren't working left me more brain space to focus on the things that do. The things I'm actually good at and love doing most; exceptional design work for passionate founders.
Over the last couple of weeks this has been a recurring theme. Separate to my "100th article reflection time" but something that struck me all the same. The theme that there is great value in quietly doing exceptional work, and letting that work speak for you (eventually, maybe even after you're dead). The first instance was being told this by someone I hold in high regard directly and explicitly. The second occurrence I sadly can't remember the source of. The third occurrence, however, was this video by Joan Westenberg (whose writing I'm coming to enjoy). All of these events happened independently, and in isolation I didn't think much of them. Yet in retrospect I see the pattern.
Quietly doing outstanding work is the opposite of what the high priests of the creative industries tell you you should do. "How can you grow a creative business if nobody knows you exist?", they will say. Yet all the evidence, for me at least, indicates that it is absolutely possible. And more than that, for the people like me who work best in this "output native" operating mode, it's the best use of one's time and effort. Better still for their mental health and happiness, and by extension, also better for their creative work.
I started writing to grow my design business, but my design business has grown not through my writing, but through my design. As it should. I don't think I'm a bad writer. In fact, I'm probably decent. I think in words well, but I think in three dimensions way better. I also know I'm a terrible self-promoter and public speaker. I'm not a 'front man'. Maybe it all would have been different if I was, but I'm not. One hundred articles in, I think I've got a pretty good clock on what works for me and what doesn't.
Sure, I've certainly enjoyed writing many of these articles. They often help me (like any journal does) better form ideas, opinions, and observations. But oftentimes sitting down to get the article done is a strain on my time and patience.
For me time is really the real kicker here. It's no secret these articles take hours to write, usually on the weekend. Now, more than ever, my time is extremely valuable. With my time split between two companies, my family, and my health (read: mountain biking), all evidence indicates that continuing to invest in these articles would be a poor investment indeed. As the saying goes; doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity.
So I'm going to put a neat little bow around my weekly articles at number 100. I'm going to keep the Journal up for anyone who might stumble across it. I also might add to them on occasion as the inspiration strikes. I may or may not keep going with my linkdumps. As I've been writing this I think I may share some of my hobby projects just for fun. Something I might have more time for now.
If I'm honest, it stings a little to spend so much time trying to build something and then let it go by the wayside, having it not achieve what I hoped it would. Yet, it would sting more to be putting in more hours, writing more articles, and the outcome still remaining unchanged. If I'm philosophical about the journey, which of course I am, it's helped me learn more about who I am and that of course has tremendous value.
As legendary basketball coach John Wooden once said:
Worry more about your character than your reputation. Character is what you are, reputation merely what others think you are.
I didn't intend to deliver a life lesson as part of this piece, but I think there's merit to doing so and it really serves as a summary of this journey (so far).
The media and the industry sphere is always filled with people showing their best work. If someone shares something publicly, it's because they want you to see it. You don't see the failures, the blown budgets, the lost clients, and the retooling. As with social media, when you're only exposed to the best of people, you begin the toxic death spiral of feeling like you don't measure up. You begin doing what they do, and seeking validation the same way. External validation is fickle and insincere, and especially when controlled by some megacorp's opaque and Molochian algorithm, a fool's errand.
To pursue external validation is to betray yourself.
True innovation comes from labouring towards that single goal of creation. Trying and testing and failing and trying again. It's knowing what you want and single-mindedly working towards it. Not what anyone else wants, or what anyone else thinks you want.
And with that. Catchya!
